August 22, 2003 @ 10:08 a.m. *sigh again* So keith (my bay) left last night. it was horrible to watch him drive away like that... i wanted to grab him and never let go. I recently got kicked out of my house for spending the night at my boyfriend's house. yet again, my roommate forgets that i am 20, and not 14. i didnt even have sex with him. Sorry it took so long to update. i started school and i was spending as much time as i could with my baby. hopefully i will be getting a cellphone soon so that him and i can talk whenever we want. and text message. i miss him so much already. he is coming back to see me in two weeks. *sigh* i am greatly anticipating that day. the part that makes me mad is, all that time we could have had together, and we were doing other things. UGH. i just want to cry a river and get it over with. i had to call in sick to work because the tears wouldnt stop. maybe i should go back on my anti-depressants, huh? i just hate life right now, and i want nothing more than for keith to show up at my door and say " hey hun! guess what? i changed my major and i am going to a different college! and its only 10 minutes away from here!" that would make me so happy. but right now i am trying to get started and motivated into transferring, and maybe i could go to app state. who knows. all i know is, this sepparation thing is breaking me apart, and i know that i am not the only one suffering... he was crying too when he left..... it hurts me to see him so upset. like i said, i just want to swoop down, whenever.... i want to be able to apparate to him, whenever i want to. i love him so much, and this isnt fair. not one little bit. but i will be strong for my baby. i will do that. i love him so much... i just cant wait util the day we say "i do" and we never have to be apart like this again. i hate waking up. i wish i could sleep forever... until i get a cell phone, i am going to wait by the phone... for him. i cant talk about this anymore.... i am getting so scared for every word that i type... the words are like knives in my stomach.... i just wish i could fast-foward time. then maybe things would get better. however, i know that as long as he loves me, things will always be better than they appear. i love him so much..... *preventry* *nextentry*

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