[Whispers]


September 15, 2003 @ 3:25 p.m.
*le grunt*


ACK! sorry its taken so long to update! i have been so busy! *cries* i have this paper due tomorrow, a lab due.... either tomorrow or wednesday, and two tests coming up; one one tuesday and one on thursday. I decided to take today off school for studying and finishing unfinished business. I am at the library right now and i will prolly be here until 9:00pm; when it closes. my mom pissed me off. i was almost finished typing this damned essay, and she comes over and deletes it. i know it was an accident, but i hadnt saved it yet; as a matter of fact, i was about to, and she came over and started shutting down programs because the computer was beeping about having too many programs opened at once (its a damned mac; i HATE macs) so she shut down quark, which was where my essay was being written, and BOOM, there it went; right out the window. and then when i got upset, she was like "well why didnt you save it?" AHHHHH! like it was my fault! it even asked her if she wanted to save it and i was saying "YES, YES!!!" and she clicked no. i was so mad! after crying (i am a big baby, i know) and pouting for a few minutes, i decided that maybe it was for the best. maybe i could write a better one. so i sat down on the couch and began to write. then i realized that it was 1:00pm; i wanted to watch passions because i want to know what is going to happen to Sheratin(yes, i like soaps; bite me) and my mom was like "turn that crap off, i do not want to hear it." so turned it down to where i could barely hear it and she was like "turn it off!" so i turned it all the way down. and she starts saying that she thought that i had to go somewhere and she doesnt want me there if i am going to give her an attitude. and i said that i was re-writing my essay, and then i was going to the library to type it up. then she's like "if you dont stop it, you are going to be in even more trouble then you are already in." and i was like "WHAT? what did i do? i am just sitting over here minding my own business and watching tv!" and she was like "jamie...." in that "you're really pushing me over the edge voice" and i was like, "ok, what did i do?" and she started ranting about how i was "abusing her" and i "was so rude to her because of her deleting my essay" (no shit...). so she was like "just go somewhere; you are in a bad mood today and i do not feel like dealing with you and your 'abuse'." by this time i was so pissed at her that i said ok, and went to my workplace to have some tea and finish my essay, which i did, only to go to my car and have to sit in the hot sun trying to make it start for 15 minutes. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i was so mad. then it FINALLY started, and i am here. this is why i didnt want to move in with my mom; she CONSTANTLY picks at me. if i want to watch a soap, she doesnt have to watch it. i actually make it a point to avoid watching the news because it pisses me off, and i sit there and listen to it (which is enough to piss me off; you dont HAVE to watch it for it to piss you off) because SHE likes it. but she cant even listen to a faint buzzing of something that i like. ugh. it made me so mad. and then she was like "did you take your medicine?" i HATE that! just because i am mad does not mean that i have a disorder. i am a very emotional person, and i usually let my emotions get the best of me. sheesh. wait till she starts with the "its giving me a headache" crap. yeah right. EVERYTHING gives her a headache. and the "what if i died in a car crash today? how would you feel?" ugh. all the time.

i guess that i am just having a bad week. yesterday i found out that, due to "family weekend" at bay's college, he cannot come and see me because his mom and sister are coming. this friday is our one year anniversary, so that was really upsetting.... *cries* but i guess it might be best. with this hurricane, i would rather him NOT be driving to and fro; the winds are up to 160 mph. so i am ok about it now. last night when he told me, i didnt take it too well. sorry bay..... *kiss* but now that i think of it, there are lots of reasons that he shouldnt come: i am sick and i do not want to get him sick, the hurricane; i would rather have a bay come a week later then have no bay at all when he gets blown off the road and dies *cries very loudly at the thought of losing my sweet baby boy*, and i work all weekend anyways. *sigh* thats the one thing about being a waitress; all your weekends are taken up because people want to eat out on weekends. sheesh. oh well.

on the other hand, on the weekend of october the 16th, 17th, 18th, and 19th, i will be with my baby! eeeeeeeeeeeee! hehehe. i cant WAIT! cause for once, i am going to visit HIM! i am so exited! and i cant BELIEVE that our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY is coming! WOW! i am so happy! i just cant WAIT! i miss him so much! and we are going to be apart so much. i have been planning our wedding like crazy! lol. i think it scares him, but hey, i can dream, cant i? i want to ask melissa(sleepsexing) to come. right now we have 30 guests; 22 of which are mine. lol. and i have been looking at cakes and *dreamy sigh* i even have the music layed out. hahahaha. i wanted to have k-ci and jo-jo's song "all my life" play while i walked down the aisle, but bay wants it to be traditional. no problemo, my monkey, but you bet your butt that i am playing it at the reception. we are thinking of a honey moon in the rockies. he loves the mountains. lol and he HATES the beach (i think that he is weird; lol but i LOVE him!!!!!!!!!!).

also, i am thinking about yoga. i did some stretches yesterday and it felt SO GOOD! almost as good as sex. LOL.

well peeps, i gots ta make a run for it! see ya lata and leave me some love in tthe guestbook! chou!

*preventry* *nextentry*


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