mood: blah. whatever.

So, Keith couldn't come this weekend which, in the long run proved to be better because this coming weekend is a flack weekend for work. i got my hours cut like lisa said i would. whatever. i was thinking about suicide for the first time in over a year about that, and about the fact that i was scared keith was going to leave me. but as usual, that is just me and my paranoiya talking. im waiting for hubby to get online right now and studying at the same time. ugh. and i have to spend ANOTHER 5 years in school? at least i am not bay. he has to spend another 8....... but i told him that i will be there every step of the way, and i meant it. he is getting his doctorate in psychology which is great; he likes the idea of people addressing him as "Dr. Keith." i think he is adorable and after all of his hard work, he deserves to be called, at the very least, doctor. I know that he will make an exellent phychiatrist! ^_^ I MISS HIM SO MUCH! he is coming this weekend..... I CANT FREAKIN WAIT! *sigh* i feel dead to the world right now, and i have to study... ugh.

i have updated my "believe" link. its got all my stories there. so go see. i only updated the characters. the next few updates will mostly be about there beliefs and powers and stuff. then the one after that will be about the Angel's.

i keep getting hungrey and i dont know why. i think its because i havent taken my meds in so long. it increases my appitite. that is why i gain weight when i am off of them, because i eat more. and i am so dizzy. i need to sleep more..... *sigh* i would be asleep if bay was on the comp at 9:45 like he said he would be, but it is now 10:00. whatever. i just hope hes having fun. he never goes out with his friends; he is always on the phone with me. he has been all day. so i am not mad, but i want to say good night to him. hes never let me down. i love'em. ^_^

blah blah blah. my life is boring......

well, heres some juicy crap for ya. kelly decided to tell lily (my best girlfriend) that i was talking crap about her. its only a matter of time before i go to where she works and humiliate her. she could have broken Keith and i up, and now she is screwing w/ lily and i. whatever. if lily believes it then..... whatever. thats all i have to say about life right now. i have been terrified for 2 months and it has gotten me nowhere at all fast. and holly.... oh holly. all cops are the same. all of them. backstabbers. i trusted one, and she was the first to stick a knife in me. i knew that cops couldnt be trusted. not one. they are not there to protect you. people are so damn sue happy, so now cops have to look out for themselves.

i talk dto one of my best friends yesterday. Brandita (she is linked). she lived in cali with me. she knows how i feel about collette because she saw right through her just like me, keia, emily, and ofcourse, herself. she is into the vamp & wolf stuff. it fascinates me. and i named a character in my story after her (willow) and one for her bf, xavier. cool name. yay! bay is on! i am outta here!