January 23, 2004 @ 5:00 a.m. come home... or let me what am i thinking? these seem to be the only words worth saying right now... what is wrong with me. i feel as if a whole part of me is gone. and i feel as if its me giving it away. bay, please listen. please look. please come next weekend. i miss you. i do not know what is going on in my head. all i know is that i love you and i dont want to hurt you, but inevitably, i am. and i am hurting inside. please do not shut me out. please do not tell me that you cant come next weekend. the last thing we need is for one another to turn our backs. it hurts. God it hurts. i cant go a whole month knowing that i wont be able to see you or hold you once. i need you. you are part of me. i hate myself... and i want to die for doing this to you... you are so perfect..... i am hurting us. i dont care what i have to do. i miss you... *preventry* *nextentry*

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