a ride.

i love it when plans get cancelled b/c of the fact that "her dad wont let her," but yet, last week when that happened, she COULD somehow go into work 2 HOURS early to be with robbie. if she wanted to be with him, i wouldnt have gotten mad. all she had to do was say so.

i only have five real friends in this damned world;

1- Keith (my bebe); is in Boone at college, 3 hours away from me

2- Kira; is in emerald isle, 3 hours away from me

3- Kirsten; is in cedar point, 3 hours away from me

4- Erika; is in emerald isle, 3 hours away from me

5- Emily; is in california, 3,000 miles away from me

....and hopefully one day.... Janet

i have made a decision; i am no longer going to try and be real friends with people (outside of internet-land) without a damned car (except janet). b/c even though they may have meant well, they wind up realizing that i am not a friend, i am a ticket to ride, and it really hurts. sometimes i wish i just didnt have a car. its sad. now i see why people are snobs. stars and people like that. no, they are not. they just realize that the only people that they can trust are their own kind b/c they already have money and fame and stuff so why would people who have the same things use them? its rather smart, really. i admire them for being so attentive.

as for -------; i just dont know. its just funny how none of our plans get carried through unless

A) your dad is involved,

B) you need a ride,

C) you need SOMETHING, or

D) your dad needs to take you somewhere and doesnt have the time. oh! or

E) if robbie is there.

yeah... like last friday. i am so unbelieveably stupid. i take her to target b/c i need to get something, and suddenly we are all standing around looking for eyeliner and lip gloss for her for 30 minutes, and then when i want to look at lotion b/c i ACTUALLY NEED IT, all of a sudden her dad is going to be mad if she is late getting home and so she stands, tapping her foot, impatiently at the end of the aisle saying "JAMIE! we have to go NOW! i am going to get in trouble!" then all of a sudden in the car its "btw, can we stop by arby's to see robbie?" stupid, STUPID me. i said YES. can you believe that? and so, after mucho whining about the fact that i am going to "make us late" and "her dad is going to get pissed off," we all sit (all three of us) in a booth and wait for her to make out with robbie for about 30 minutes to an hour. well you know what? screw that. i have HAD it with false friends. i really have. i dont want anymore friends... not unless they are real. this hurts like hell. i am sick of it.

if you are going to use me, leave me the hell alone. and no, i dont "know that its not true." actions speak louder than words my friend.