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BACK TO THE SHOW!!!

*sheesh* it seems like everytime i come out of that class, i feel like my brain is MUSH. hehehe. yeah, i am actually cheering up since this morning... i found out that it is my teacher's email addy that has been malfunctioning, and not me, so he will let me re-submit my essay AND get a note for last tuesday when i had a doctors appt.... why do they ALWAYS poke me??? *cries*

i forgot where i parked.... lol. i am at school right now in case you havent figured that out.

this must be the funniest damned thing i have seen in a while..... THE TAIL IS JUST TOO GREAT! its my bebe's aim icon... lol

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

i was thinking today in philosophy... i am so happy to know that i am not crazy in thinking that this life is so mundane.... i am not the only one who looks up to the sky and wonders "is this all there is?" that cant be. so i wrote a little freehand in my real journal; the one that no one can read b/c it is in a NOTEBOOK, but i will put these thoughts in here b/c i thought they were interesting...

EVERYONE is out for themselves. Illusion; the world is nothing more than one big illusion. What is the truth? Humans will do anything to find a greater reality. Why though? Because they know that in their soul, truth... is. How does the soul leave the body? Society trains the mind to laugh at the very thought of anything other than physical reality.

What am i? what was that light? how many different worlds are there? why did all my pain go away? when my soul left this world, the pain went away. is pain only in this world? is the only way to remove the the soul though death? is there ANY other way to separate the soul from the body? if so, what is it? meditation? is that why some people can sit and meditate for hours? because they have actually left this world? i believe that the body, in its own way, binds the soul to this world. God knows that, and that is why he created us like that. so we would have to go through this world. but some people break free of the body and fly free from it. how?

money, drugs, alcohol... are they really bad? greed is, yes, but... what if its not driven by greed?

they provide a means of breaking free... from everyday, ordinary life. From worries and fears, from pain. Maybe its not greed after all. Maybe it is desperation to get away from an ordinary life. maybe its what people need to be happy... or at least think that they are. for some, it is greed, but for others, its an escape. to not have vultures breathing down their necks... that is what money means. to never have to be scared or worried and know that you are taken care of. to do what you want. to enjoy the good that life can give you.

that still doesnt explain that light... or why all the pain went away... or why i forgot, i simply forgot, this world and its very existance...

death fascinates me...